What To Avoid When You Are Pregnant

You know, the mind is an incredible tool. I say tool because it is just like a computer, as you probably already know. Some computers work better than others, but this is due, many times to the programming that it has.

Sure there may be some psychological involvement playing a role in how we act but in many cases, our programming from the past (meaning whatever we have been taught, what we have learned on our own and what we have accepted for ourselves) plays a major role in how we act on an everyday basis.

Having this piece of information is an incredible help to us. If our past programming influences the way we act, then that means that if we change the programming that we have, we change the way we act.

 What We Have To Change

This may not be everybody’s case, but I think that our society among others, has to change the way they view birthing. Birthing is a natural process that has gotten such a bad reputation.

I work with a birthing center named Miami Maternity Center and I speak to so many women that have such misconceptions and fears about birthing itself. This is largely due to the negative exposure they have had from the ones around them and of course from pessimistic things they’ve heard and seen about having a baby. I know that I am a man and I will never go through the birthing experience, but I have already worked with many women that have taken my class and have learned a lot from them. Women from around the world or women that have taken courses or classes on how to relax like the one I give and hypno-birthing (by Marie Mongan) really teach us that the birthing experience does not have to be a horrible one. I say this because those women that learn how to relax while birthing have incredible births. They dance, sing, relax, have a party and best of all, they have a memorable experience. In other words, they teach us that having a baby can be a lot better than it’s made out to be on the TV or movies.

Almost every expectant mom that I have worked with is just an everyday normal person. Once in a while I will get a mom that meditates everyday and uses all types of visual techniques to make her birthing experience that much better, but keep in mind that this is just once in a while.

The moms that I get tremendous success with are just wonderful everyday people. So don’t feel that you are incapable of having a good birth because you are not a specific type of body, you don’t workout all of the time, don’t practice meditation all of the time etc. You can do a few simple things to help you have a better birthing experience

 
Five Important Things
 

#1:

Learn how to relax. We all know how to relax…Israel, why is this so important? True we all know how to relax…. but do we know how to relax when it really counts? For a birthing mother this means to be able to relax when she is having her baby. I would suggest that you look for some sort of class that teaches relaxation techniques.

You have many choices to learn how the relaxation process works from books, tapes, courses etc. They can help and be useful for having more control of what you experience in the birthing process. Also keep in mind that relaxation relieves tension in the body, which allows the birthing canal to be looser as it pushes the baby through.

#2:

Avoid negative movies, TV shows or anything that has to do with giving birth in a negative way. It’s funny but when I give seminars at the birthing center I always ask the question, “who here has never been hypnotized?” I usually get a response of most of the people that have not been hypnotized. I always tell them that they go into hypnotic states everyday of their lives, several times a day. Then they look at me strange until I explain to them. (You are probably thinking that I am strange too, until I explain this to you.)

Hypnosis is classified as a relaxation of the conscious mind, which leaves you open to receive suggestion because when your conscious mind is relaxed, your subconscious is more active and the reverse is also true.

 When you are watching TV, or movies, your conscious mind relaxes and your subconscious is open for suggestions. It’s almost like you let what you are watching “think for you” so your subconscious mind is open and ready to accept suggestions. This also occurs when you are listening to radio many times, reading a good book or listening to a good speaker.

The conscious mind is not being as critical and the subconscious is more open. If you watch negative things on TV or a movie that deals with birthing in a pessimistic way, those suggestions, even the scenes will root themselves in your subconscious and you will have even further negative programming to add to what you have already seen and already know about the birthing experience.

Additionally, the pictures or scenes that you are watching make a powerful effect on your mind like you are aware of. Remember that a picture is worth 1000 words so how many thousands of words are being suggested to you on a subconscious level by watching some scary birthing scene?

You are actually reaffirming a negative view of birthing.

Avoid speaking to negative people. Ever since you were a little girl, you have been getting have a baby because it hurts so much.” It’s unfortunate but many of our family members unknowingly program a bad feeling of birthing as a child.

 
Also, unless you are psychic, you will not know what others are going to say about the birthing experience, so you can’t avoid every negative conversation. However, if you know that there are certain negative people or members of the family that just love to talk about the gloom of things, do not get on the topic of birthing with them, or get off the topic if it starts to go the wrong way.

This way you will not be bombarded with negativity because unfortunately it is easier for the mind to just accept negative things quicker than positive things. If you are faced with a negative person, in other words, that you know is negative the conversation of birth will probably start with your pregnancy. “So….how are you feeling?” You say “fine.” “You know…when I was pregnant, I felt good to…..but my birth was terrible….and on and on and on. Probably the best thing to do with these people is to get off the topic. If you can’t and you find yourself beginning to feel bad about your own future birth….tell yourself “this was there experience…it’s not mind.” If someone is telling you something negative about their birth, or someone else’s birth…just keep telling yourself that it was their experience but doesn’t have to be and is not yours.
Stay away from using the words labor or pain when it refers to giving birth. In hypnosis, I teach people not to use something called “painted words.” These are words that give you a feeling just from hearing the word. For example: needle, pin, blade, razor, sharp, cut…all of those words produce an uncomfortable feeling if you think about them, because our experience has been unpleasant with one or more of these at one point of our lives or another.
The word labor means work when we refer to it in the sense of giving birth… and to many women it means pain. I always ask the question in the talks that I give and the answers are basically the same. “What does labor mean to you,” I ask. The ladies that answer me either say that labor means that they are going to work really hard when they are having the baby, or they are going to have a lot of pain. Add to this the words “active” or “hard labor” and you’ve got a real great combination of words for the birthing mother.

In the subconscious mind it just signifies that things are going to be really tough until the baby comes out. So what words do I use Israel? Well for starters instead of saying “I am in labor” or “when I go into labor”…. Just say I am having contractions, or when I begin having my baby.

Instead of using the word you can use discomfort. They sound a lot nicer and they don’t have as much of an impact on the mind. Yes I know it’s not the norm…but it’s a good way to start programming the subconscious.

Many of the things that I have mentioned are somewhat obvious but things that many people don’t think about or don’t really pay attention to. I really hope that this has helped you better understand how the mind is affected with negative programming.

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